Girlfriend wants me to be friends with her ex

My gf is friends with a work colleague she had a ONS with, she wants me to be friends with him as well, I dont want to – what should I do?

We have been together about 2 years – they had their ONS about 3 years ago. He is a self confessed “player”. Although he does have a child from a previous relationship.

She went out to his birthday part recently and came back extremely drunk – she said they were drunk when they had the ONS. IT seems to me he just wants to constantly get her drunk so he can take advantage. But she has said to me she wants me to be friends with him – but I dont think I could be near him without picturing them together

I need to tell this guy that I have a boyfriend (Please read description!)

I’m a 15, almost 16 y.o. girl, and I had crushes on like 3 people in October, and I gained some confidence, so I told one of them that I liked him in Novemberish, I see him @ school everyday in a lot of my classes and he’s also at my bus stop. He told me that he’s not ready for a relationship and all that ‘generic’ stuff and kind of started talking to me less after that. Then, in early December, I found out that one of my other crushes, the one that I liked the most, liked me back. So, now we’ve been boyfriend/girlfriend for more than a month and I haven’t really told the other guy that I have a boyfriend. He’s starting to talk to me more again, and I’m pretty sure he thinks that I still like him. While I don’t hate him, I also don’t want him to say something like he’s ready for a relationship now, and I would have to say no. I’m not the kind of person who likes doing that. What can I say/text to him to make him know that either I have a boyfriend now, or I don’t like him like that anymore without being that direct????

My Best Friend & My Crush Hooked Up

They were both drunk, and in his defence, he didn’t know how I felt about him. However, it still really hurts… They’ve both apologised but I just don’t know what to do…

So my best friend (R) and I had been chatting about how much I really liked this boy (C) and she was giving me advice on how to talk to him more and was asking me how I felt and just being a really supportive best friend! The next day we had a party that all three of us were attending and for the first bit of the party, (C) was really flirty and was all over me, however he had consumed a lot of alcohol, so I was just having a laugh. I went to the toilet with another friend, and when I came back, I saw (R) leaning in to kiss (C) with his arms round her waist and them kissing until he pulled away. I immediately walked off, as I’d told her the day before how I felt about him and she was meant to be my best friend.

Long time friend/friendzone

Should I cut all contact forever? Cut temporarily? Maintain limited contact, hitting on her until she cuts contact?

I’m in the position of unsure what to do next.
It’s a long story.
I’ve known this gal for nearly 15 years. I met her when she started dating a good friend of mine after he moved out of state (200 miles away). I was awestruck at her presense the first time I met her. She dated my friend for 6-7 years, and we got closer in that time, and I started having feelings for her after 4-5 years (which were left unspoken or shown). Right when they broke up, she contacted me to make sure we’d still be friends after they broke up, which of course I would. (SN- my friend increasingly treated me like shit, so my reason to visit increasingly became to visit her rather than him).

Not long after they broke up, I revealed my feelings to her; admittedly in a completely beta way. She pushed me to be open with her and I did in ways that I hadn’t been with anyone else before. We’d have regular visits with each other and we started getting intimate after about a year…. but she would play games and be contradictive. She’d turn down an invite to my bed, then invite me into hers the next week, tell me that she’d never date me, and then invite me into bed a couple days later.
Then one day out of the blue, she said that we needed to cut contact. I did so without question and we didn’t speak for 4 months. During that time, I dated someone, which ended just before she started contact.

When contact reestablished, I was very hesitant and fairly cynical for a month or so. I eventually started to get a bit more comfortable and planed a visit. That visit set the tone for how we acted towards each other for the past 3.5 years. She shut down any advances I made, even chastising me for making them. I ended up bottling up my feelings for her in an attempt to be just a friend; which severely muted all my other emotions around her. I wouldn’t even show excitement to see her. Simultaneously, she did the same to “avoid leading me on”. Around the same time, I started having health issues, causing me to lose my lucrative job and my house as well; sending me into a depressive state for a year or 2.

We didn’t visit each other for 2-3 years, but still talked fairly frequently. About a year ago, she needed some work done on her car, so I offered to do it for her. She visited me for a couple days and there seemed to be lots of tension. She needed some more work done a few months later, so I offered again. This time she showed up, and left shortly after I was done (NYearsEve 2015).

I wanted to visit sooner, but the new job and family issues prevented me until July 2016. A key purpose was to determine if I could just be friends or cut all contact. On that visit, she blurted out that she was dating someone for the past year (who also lives 150 miles from her), and hid it from me because she was scared I’d stop being friends.
I visited her again 2 weeks later. I worked on her car, revealed that my feelings for her still existed and then cut contact. She told me that I hold “a unique position that bullies the lines of friend and relationship”.

2 weeks after I cut contact, she contacts me crying and drunk while on vacation with her BF because I unfriended her on Facebook. I later block her after she tries contacting again. Less than 2 months after I cut contact, she sends me a gift (which she’s never bought me a gift before) based off something she saw by stalking me through someone else’s account. I broke radio silence, and that’s when she told me that her mom was just diagnosed with brain cancer.
After a couple weeks, I cut contact again because she already has an ample support network and I won’t play backup support while she has a BF. I had also set up a couple rounds of flowers for her mom since I’d always gotten along with her and hate to see such a bad thing happen to a good person (the least I could do).
Well, the last round of flowers showed up mid December, her mom calls me (should have been anonymous, but the stupid florist left my phone number on them), and the gal snatches the phone from her to confront me. We started contact since. There was an unexpected lull through the holidays where she would cut out mid conversation, and then start up a couple days later with a new one.

The last thing she sent was a text saying:
“Where we’ve left off in conversation (many times just recently) is not lost on me. But, can we agree to resume after the new year? This in-between week always seems off kilter.”

I think it’s BS. It was never an “off kilter” week between Xmas and NYEve in the past, but it’s probably because she was hiding the BF previously.

I’m torn because she has always been a close friend. The fact that she hid her seeing someone makes me feel betrayed, even though I know she partly did it to try avoiding hurting me (but also the selfish end of trying to keep me as a friend). She’s said that she loves me, but not in the same way I do her. I realize that the way I had approached her in the past didn’t help to advance a relationship. She’s been fighting extremely hard to maintain any form of contact, but I can’t be just a friend, regardless of what lines it blurs.

I feel my options are:
-Cut contact entirely, forever
-Cut contact for a while, as I continue to concentrate improving myself as I have been
-Maintain limited contact and “play the game”; flirting and teasing any time she contacts

I won’t lose any sleep if I never talk to her again. I already went through that phase. Honestly, it’s her loss, and I think she’s realized how much she’s losing in the 4-5 months I cut contact. Regardless of what I do with her, I’m moving on and finding other women that interest me. Even so, I’ve felt hopelessly drawn to her for nearly a decade.

Irritation, friend or crush?

Okay, so there’s this girl I’ve known for two and a half years now. We’ve known each other since we started high school and have always been ‘friends’. We both live far away from school but close to each other. We’ve been cycling to school and back since we found out that we lived so close. For the first year, she was my main go-to friend simply because we had already gotten to know each other. When making a seating plan for school, all the boys had to sit down on places in the classroom and all the girls had to go sit next a boy. She, she sat down next to me. By this point I had already developed a huge crush on her. We hardly ever texted each other since we saw each other at school and on the way home already. We have by the way never to this day, hung out outside of school. At school she would always be very kind and spontaneous around me. She acted in a way that she’s never acted in with anybody else. She once even let me check on her test because I didn’t know one answer. When the summer break came we lost contact mainly because I was too shy to text her and was scared she’d find me irritating. In second year we both decided to sit next to our ‘same-gender’ friends to avoid constant teasing. Now, one and a half years later, we’re still the same. Nothing has changed. But now I can hardly contain my crush for her anymore. I’ve recently tried texting her but most of her answers have been very short and with very little emotion. I really want to try and ask her out but I’m scared that that might ruin the friendship if she rejects me or that maybe I’m not even considered a friend anymore since we only really interact while cycling home anymore. I honestly have no idea what to do anymore.

I’m 17 and so is she. I confused and don’t know what to do.

So it all started at the end of last school year on a school trip. I had been friends with this girl for a while and we got on well but we didn’t talk too much. It was the last night and we were both drunk and we ended up sleeping together. Now when I say sleeping together I don’t mean sex but cuddling/spooning. We kind of pretended it didn’t happen and too this day we haven’t talk about it.
Summer started and we texted throughout the summer and had some really long (5-6 hour) Skype calls where we would literally talk for the whole time, the conversation never got boring and we never ran out of things to talk about. All of these conversations were started by her not me. Just before school started in September we hung out (her idea) and saw a movie/had dinner and it was really fun and we both enjoyed it. A week later she drunk texted me about how we should hang out and make out etc.
So I was obviously happy because I really liked her but when we came back to school it was all different. We still texted a lot but when it came to face-to-face interaction it was like I wasn’t there, especially when we were in bigger groups (5+ people). This went on for another month or so until we were texting one night and she suggested that we hang out that weekend and of course I said yes. We hung out for two whole days and again we had a really good time. The next day she snapchatted me saying that she missed me and so again I thought it was a good sign.
Then we came back to school again and I had the exact same problem as before, we texted/snapchatted/skyped etc a lot but I couldn’t get the time of day face-to-face. Which brings me to present day, where I’m still stuck in the same situation.
For some context I’m quite shy/quiet while she’s more out going and makes friends with everyone. But I also know she’s never had a bf or kissed anyone (she told me one night) so maybe she’s just nervous? But she has also referred to us as ‘best friends’ as few times so I don’t know what to do.
I really like her and this is killing me, what do I do?

Should I stay with him?

I’ve been with my boyfriend for a year,I am 19 and he is 21 and this is our first official relationship for both of us. Everything is great and going the way it should be but I have an issue regarding the beginning of our relationship. He made it very clear he wanted us to not get with other people when we’ were seeing each other for three months,i was happy with. However ,a couple weeks before going official I am sure he got with a girl, I am also sure he got with her the week into us being official, if both both it was one of them. It has been eating up inside of me and I confronted him at the time and he assured me nothing but I am not convinced and I am often getting myself in a state of anger/upset even thinking about it to a point where I’m debating on whether I should be with him! Am I being silly? What should I do? Ps I am a female but o feel like guys responses to this are also important.

Well, she’s leaving.

Just looking for some insight into my issue.

My gal of 25 years, has decided that she’s leaving to “Find herself”, this was brought to my attention a few nights ago, she has decided to leave everything behind with the exception of her electronic devices and clothing, she isn’t going far, but said she’s not sure what she’s doing either. I responded yesterday by telling her it was over for my own protection, I didn’t want her to “Find herself” with someone else in the future with me hanging on. This was after I’d ridden her to get a job since she’s only worked a few months in the last 8 years, she promised me when I bought a house that I wouldn’t face the burden alone, after three years, she’s working, and after her first paycheck, has decided she’s leaving because I belittle her and abuse her because she wasn’t working (amongst other things). She said we don’t do enough together, but I’m always tired from overtime, and broke from paying the bills. She got very argumentative when I told her it was over, saying she knew I’d be in bed with someone else within a week of her leaving. Please advise, I don’t want her to go, I know I can’t make her stay, but we’ve been together forever, and I’m pretty lost without her myself.