I don’t want to be the only one who pays

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I’ve been with my boyfriend for a few months and things are really good mostly. But I feel like he is really stingy with money when it comes to putting money into our relationship like going on dates, buying a gift for valentines day, or anything really. But he has no problem spending money on energy drinks for himself or an $80 video game. I just don’t understand why he is like this. I understand he has been single for a long time so maybe he’s just not used to the changes that happen when you’re in a relationship. Am I over reacting? Am I being silly? Should I try to talk to him about it? What should I do?

Sex and Anxiety

I am seeing a guy, we’re both 22, and last weekend we went out with some friends, drank quite a bit, went home together, and had sex for the first time. That night, he had a hard time staying hard, which we both attributed to him having drank a lot, early the next morning we tried again, and he was hard, but maybe for only 10 minutes. We didn’t really talk about it and it wasn’t awkward the next morning, but he did say he was sorry for the ‘poor performance’ last night. I think he might have a bit of anxiety, and he seemed a little embarrassed. It really didn’t matter to me, I just hope I wasn’t the reason!

This weekend we went out again, drank, came home together and started to hook up and he was very hard the whole time.. for nearly 3 hours until we called it quits for the night. I don’t think he ever came, which seems to be a side effect of Viagra (according to google at least haha). I have a feeling he may have taken something to help him have an erection. Not sure if it’s something that I should bring up with him?

It could be that he was nervous that the same thing might happen as did the first night, and that he didn’t want to risk it. But I don’t want him to feel like he needs to take something every night! Is there anything I can do to help him get and keep an erection? Is it something I should bring up with him, or would that make him even more nervous?

She needs some space

So, I began dating this girl around may of 2016. We’ve been hanging out ever since and connected very well. We’re at the point to where we hold hands and kiss in public no matter where we are and have sex pretty often, almost as if we were a couple already. Weve even gived each other Christmas gifts and she bought me something for my birthday. From time, she tells me how much she appreciates me, that she wouldn’t want to spend her nights with anyone else and that I’m all she’s focusing on. I haven’t met any of her friends or her any of mine although I’ve invited to some events that she wasn’t able to attend. So overall we’ve been talking for about 7 months so I decided to go for it and ask to be officially my girlfriend. Her response was ” yes, I do but I don’t want to rush things” she told me that her previous relationship broke her and she realized that she needs some space to work on herself. I told her I completely understood and that I will give her some space. Since then, she continues to text me and periodically tells me she misses me. At this point I’m pretty confused and I want some advice as to what to do I this situation. I asked her specifically what she needed me to do in regards to giving her space, because I want to give enough space to work on herself but not to the point to where she thinks I’m pushing her away.

Difficult Relationship Situation

I have a confusing relationship situation. I have been dating a girl for several months and care about her deeply. But I don’t think I’m happy. We’re in the same section in our school band, and after I beat her in chair auditions she became very depressed (she thinks that she has no future) although she was depressed beforehand anyway. I’ve really tried to help her to be happier, and I do make her happy in the short term, but I know that she is still really depressed and I don’t know how to help her. And her depression is making me depressed too. I’ve thought about ending our relationship, but I’m afraid to. She is depressed and I’m afraid that if I end things she will hurt herself, which she has done in the past, but not in a long time. She thinks that she is worthless and I don’t want to reinforce that thought by breaking up with her, especially because she has said before that she is deeply in love with me and has stronger feelings for me that she has ever had before. Also, my best friend is a good friend of hers, and I don’t want to make things hard or awkward for him by breaking up with her, especially because he has become romantically interested in one of her friends, and I don’t want to ruin the potential for them to have a relationship. When I’m around my girlfriend I feel happy, but I honestly can’t see our relationship lasting (and yeah, we’re in high school, and those relationships almost never last anyway) especially because she’s a senior and I’m a sophomore. One of her friends is somewhat of a friendly mentor of ours and has helped us though a few problems in the past, and I also don’t want her (the mentor girl) to hate me for breaking up with her (the girl I’m dating). And I feel bad about this, but I think I might have a crush on someone else, who I’m pretty sure has liked me in the past. I kinda want to have a relationship with her. But I really don’t want to hurt anyone else. I don’t know what to do. I just know that I’m not very happy. If nothing else, I’ll just wait for her to graduate and let us drift apart, which I feel bad about. But I think that it’s the best solution to not hurt other people. I don’t know. If anyone has any advice it would be greatly appreciated. I apologize for how complicated this is. Thanks for reading this.

Girlfriend wants me to be friends with her ex

My gf is friends with a work colleague she had a ONS with, she wants me to be friends with him as well, I dont want to – what should I do?

We have been together about 2 years – they had their ONS about 3 years ago. He is a self confessed “player”. Although he does have a child from a previous relationship.

She went out to his birthday part recently and came back extremely drunk – she said they were drunk when they had the ONS. IT seems to me he just wants to constantly get her drunk so he can take advantage. But she has said to me she wants me to be friends with him – but I dont think I could be near him without picturing them together

I need to tell this guy that I have a boyfriend (Please read description!)

I’m a 15, almost 16 y.o. girl, and I had crushes on like 3 people in October, and I gained some confidence, so I told one of them that I liked him in Novemberish, I see him @ school everyday in a lot of my classes and he’s also at my bus stop. He told me that he’s not ready for a relationship and all that ‘generic’ stuff and kind of started talking to me less after that. Then, in early December, I found out that one of my other crushes, the one that I liked the most, liked me back. So, now we’ve been boyfriend/girlfriend for more than a month and I haven’t really told the other guy that I have a boyfriend. He’s starting to talk to me more again, and I’m pretty sure he thinks that I still like him. While I don’t hate him, I also don’t want him to say something like he’s ready for a relationship now, and I would have to say no. I’m not the kind of person who likes doing that. What can I say/text to him to make him know that either I have a boyfriend now, or I don’t like him like that anymore without being that direct????

My Best Friend & My Crush Hooked Up

They were both drunk, and in his defence, he didn’t know how I felt about him. However, it still really hurts… They’ve both apologised but I just don’t know what to do…

So my best friend (R) and I had been chatting about how much I really liked this boy (C) and she was giving me advice on how to talk to him more and was asking me how I felt and just being a really supportive best friend! The next day we had a party that all three of us were attending and for the first bit of the party, (C) was really flirty and was all over me, however he had consumed a lot of alcohol, so I was just having a laugh. I went to the toilet with another friend, and when I came back, I saw (R) leaning in to kiss (C) with his arms round her waist and them kissing until he pulled away. I immediately walked off, as I’d told her the day before how I felt about him and she was meant to be my best friend.

Long time friend/friendzone

Should I cut all contact forever? Cut temporarily? Maintain limited contact, hitting on her until she cuts contact?

I’m in the position of unsure what to do next.
It’s a long story.
I’ve known this gal for nearly 15 years. I met her when she started dating a good friend of mine after he moved out of state (200 miles away). I was awestruck at her presense the first time I met her. She dated my friend for 6-7 years, and we got closer in that time, and I started having feelings for her after 4-5 years (which were left unspoken or shown). Right when they broke up, she contacted me to make sure we’d still be friends after they broke up, which of course I would. (SN- my friend increasingly treated me like shit, so my reason to visit increasingly became to visit her rather than him).

Not long after they broke up, I revealed my feelings to her; admittedly in a completely beta way. She pushed me to be open with her and I did in ways that I hadn’t been with anyone else before. We’d have regular visits with each other and we started getting intimate after about a year…. but she would play games and be contradictive. She’d turn down an invite to my bed, then invite me into hers the next week, tell me that she’d never date me, and then invite me into bed a couple days later.
Then one day out of the blue, she said that we needed to cut contact. I did so without question and we didn’t speak for 4 months. During that time, I dated someone, which ended just before she started contact.

When contact reestablished, I was very hesitant and fairly cynical for a month or so. I eventually started to get a bit more comfortable and planed a visit. That visit set the tone for how we acted towards each other for the past 3.5 years. She shut down any advances I made, even chastising me for making them. I ended up bottling up my feelings for her in an attempt to be just a friend; which severely muted all my other emotions around her. I wouldn’t even show excitement to see her. Simultaneously, she did the same to “avoid leading me on”. Around the same time, I started having health issues, causing me to lose my lucrative job and my house as well; sending me into a depressive state for a year or 2.

We didn’t visit each other for 2-3 years, but still talked fairly frequently. About a year ago, she needed some work done on her car, so I offered to do it for her. She visited me for a couple days and there seemed to be lots of tension. She needed some more work done a few months later, so I offered again. This time she showed up, and left shortly after I was done (NYearsEve 2015).

I wanted to visit sooner, but the new job and family issues prevented me until July 2016. A key purpose was to determine if I could just be friends or cut all contact. On that visit, she blurted out that she was dating someone for the past year (who also lives 150 miles from her), and hid it from me because she was scared I’d stop being friends.
I visited her again 2 weeks later. I worked on her car, revealed that my feelings for her still existed and then cut contact. She told me that I hold “a unique position that bullies the lines of friend and relationship”.

2 weeks after I cut contact, she contacts me crying and drunk while on vacation with her BF because I unfriended her on Facebook. I later block her after she tries contacting again. Less than 2 months after I cut contact, she sends me a gift (which she’s never bought me a gift before) based off something she saw by stalking me through someone else’s account. I broke radio silence, and that’s when she told me that her mom was just diagnosed with brain cancer.
After a couple weeks, I cut contact again because she already has an ample support network and I won’t play backup support while she has a BF. I had also set up a couple rounds of flowers for her mom since I’d always gotten along with her and hate to see such a bad thing happen to a good person (the least I could do).
Well, the last round of flowers showed up mid December, her mom calls me (should have been anonymous, but the stupid florist left my phone number on them), and the gal snatches the phone from her to confront me. We started contact since. There was an unexpected lull through the holidays where she would cut out mid conversation, and then start up a couple days later with a new one.

The last thing she sent was a text saying:
“Where we’ve left off in conversation (many times just recently) is not lost on me. But, can we agree to resume after the new year? This in-between week always seems off kilter.”

I think it’s BS. It was never an “off kilter” week between Xmas and NYEve in the past, but it’s probably because she was hiding the BF previously.

I’m torn because she has always been a close friend. The fact that she hid her seeing someone makes me feel betrayed, even though I know she partly did it to try avoiding hurting me (but also the selfish end of trying to keep me as a friend). She’s said that she loves me, but not in the same way I do her. I realize that the way I had approached her in the past didn’t help to advance a relationship. She’s been fighting extremely hard to maintain any form of contact, but I can’t be just a friend, regardless of what lines it blurs.

I feel my options are:
-Cut contact entirely, forever
-Cut contact for a while, as I continue to concentrate improving myself as I have been
-Maintain limited contact and “play the game”; flirting and teasing any time she contacts

I won’t lose any sleep if I never talk to her again. I already went through that phase. Honestly, it’s her loss, and I think she’s realized how much she’s losing in the 4-5 months I cut contact. Regardless of what I do with her, I’m moving on and finding other women that interest me. Even so, I’ve felt hopelessly drawn to her for nearly a decade.