We have been married for six years but I recently discovered my husband has a social media profile. He reluctantly added me but recently he deleted the profile completely. Last week, I discovered he has another profile which is eight year old and in private mode. There is no recent activity but it has some photos and comments from his past, including ones by his Ex. The fact that my husband is reluctant to acknowledge me and our children on his social media profile but has retained his ex’s memories has left me hurt and confused.

My husband and I have been married for 6 years through arranged marriage. We have a son (5) and a daughter (2). He was never on Facebook, whereas I have been for some years now. He never seemed inclined and I didn’t fuss over it. However, a few months back out of curiosity I searched his name on Facebook and realised he had opened an account for more than a year. When I asked him, he shrugged off stating he never really used it and had opened one on insistence of his colleagues and to connect with friends from his days abroad. When I asked him why hadn’t he added me? He just avoided it saying he never uses it. Nevertheless, I added him and though he seemed reluctant, he eventually accepted it. I checked his account and indeed most people on his friends list were his colleagues from work and few old friends. He had a picture from his late 20s as his profile picture (he’s 40 now). He hadn’t filled out any details and he hadn’t put a single picture of us or our kids. I was not too happy but I thought he wanted to keep things private and professional and let it be. I am alarmed now because suddenly last week, after having me on his friends list for four months, he’s now deleted his FB account! I searched for him but there’s no trace of him (even a friend confirmed this) but now to my surprise, I’ve come across his another account that is almost 8 years old. The account is set in private mode, I can’t see his friends list but can see some pictures he had posted in public mode 8 years back. He had pictures of his from his late 20s and early 30s, as well as lots of pictures of his niece, a toddler than. On one such picture of his niece, I found a fond comment by a woman. I checked her profile, she is in her late 30s now, lives in another country and is single. When I did my snooping around a bit, I realised, the woman was my husband’s ex, the one he loved before he married me. They were in a long distance relationship for five years and had to part ways under pressure from family owing to their religious differences. I checked up further on the woman’s profile and realised she doesn’t have my husband on her friends list and her posts were work related. So far, I believe, my husband and his ex are not in touch with each other but I have a nagging feeling he isn’t over her yet. Although, they’re not on each other’s friends list, through her comments, she’s there for everyone to see, whereas I am nowhere around. Ideally, my husband could have deleted that picture with his ex’s comments on his profile but he has not. He doesn’t seem uncomfortable and it seems, like all his friends and family knew about them and even acknowledged her. Honestly, I had an idea that he was involved with someone in the past but not to the extent I have figured now. As far as our relationship is concerned, we have never shared anything out of ordinary but it has been ok so far. However, his reluctance to accept and acknowledge me and our kids on his social media profile has got me thinking now. I can still deal with his reluctance to post our pictures but I can’t fathom his hesitance towards posting pictures of our children, when he could post pictures of his niece. Please help me understand what could be his compulsion or motivation in acting the way he’s.

Why would my husband delete his social media account with me on his friends list but continue the account with his ex memories?

Would she be happier without me?

Our relationship is struggling, I think we’d both be happier together, but I don’t want to make it difficult if she needs to walk away.

My girlfriend and I have been together for almost a year and its both of our first serious relationship. We’ve been having difficulties lately, especially with the stress of both finishing our undergraduate degrees.

A month ago she broke up with me because things were too hard on her, then a week after that we talked it over. We decided to give it another shot, as neither of us felt like things were really over. I thought at that point she understood that the relationship would be work (as all are), but it seems now like she’s retreating again.

I think we have a good relationship worth working for, which can make us both happier. I want to fight for us, but I also don’t want to make it difficult for her to leave if that’s what she has to do.

I’m torn between being sensitive and considerate and letting her make up her mind on her own time, and fighting for our relationship because I still believe in it.

What should I do?

He’s a co-worker, I might be reading too much into the situation and when I was thinking about him last night, I started singing Disney songs… *Face Palm*

Okay, so this is happening. I met this guy when he came to work at the same office as me. He was great from the start. He looked me in the eye when he spoke to me and didn’t interrupt me (which I get a lot from guys) and never got weird or defensive about me training him or asking me for help when he had a question. We both started goofing around a lot but also talking about substantial things like politics or philosophy. We started swapping stories about our families and childhood. He’s interested in my major… and he never once made a stupid joke about working with a bunch of women. He complimented me but not in a skeevy way. At the time I thought he was just a really nice guy being friendly, so I didn’t think too much of it.

I’m not exactly sure when it started to happen, but we talked more and he kept trying to come up with a nickname for me. It’s kind of sweet. He’s shown concern for my safety and he’s been offering me hugs. Nice hugs. And I’m so comfortable with him that my feet move before I can think about it and I hug him back. He’s actually not trying to cop a feel.

He really casually asked me if I was seeing anyone not too long ago, but hasn’t brought it up again. I’m not seeing anyone. And I was becoming aware that I was having really mushy feelings for this guy.

This realization was closely followed by my thinking that I was probably just reading way too much into the whole thing. He’s probably just being nice. But I miss him when he’s not at work and I feel safe with him. The feeling safe with him is kind of a big deal for me. I’m really careful about who I let into my life, even more when it comes to guys. I’ve been really focused on work and school and just trying to hold everything together so most interactions with dudes, for me, are just fending off creepy guys at the campus library or on public transportation…

I feel like the thing to do is just to tell him how I feel, but we WORK together. It’s a really chill office (just ask the roaches) but it feels unprofessional and it might cause problems if things go south. Also, if he doesn’t feel the same way, I really don’t want to lose him as a friend if it weirds him out. But maybe he’s thinking the SAME thing and that’s why it hasn’t gone farther than ‘are you seeing anyone?’ yet…

So I’m wigging out a little. I’m not sure what to do. I’ve kind of been looking around for something innocuous we could do together outside of work… and feeling really ridiculous about it?

Thoughts? Thanks for reading!

I’m in so much pain

This girl I’m in love with chose her lying cheating ex bf over me. She and I are very close and when I suggest that we distance ourselves she says she “can’t live without me” and begs me not to leave. Also we’re going to prom together because she would rather go with me than her bf. Her words btw. Should I stay friends with her or drop her and move on. I hurt every day because she’s with him but would it hurt any less if I stopped talking to her?

I don’t want to be the only one who pays

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I’ve been with my boyfriend for a few months and things are really good mostly. But I feel like he is really stingy with money when it comes to putting money into our relationship like going on dates, buying a gift for valentines day, or anything really. But he has no problem spending money on energy drinks for himself or an $80 video game. I just don’t understand why he is like this. I understand he has been single for a long time so maybe he’s just not used to the changes that happen when you’re in a relationship. Am I over reacting? Am I being silly? Should I try to talk to him about it? What should I do?

Sex and Anxiety

I am seeing a guy, we’re both 22, and last weekend we went out with some friends, drank quite a bit, went home together, and had sex for the first time. That night, he had a hard time staying hard, which we both attributed to him having drank a lot, early the next morning we tried again, and he was hard, but maybe for only 10 minutes. We didn’t really talk about it and it wasn’t awkward the next morning, but he did say he was sorry for the ‘poor performance’ last night. I think he might have a bit of anxiety, and he seemed a little embarrassed. It really didn’t matter to me, I just hope I wasn’t the reason!

This weekend we went out again, drank, came home together and started to hook up and he was very hard the whole time.. for nearly 3 hours until we called it quits for the night. I don’t think he ever came, which seems to be a side effect of Viagra (according to google at least haha). I have a feeling he may have taken something to help him have an erection. Not sure if it’s something that I should bring up with him?

It could be that he was nervous that the same thing might happen as did the first night, and that he didn’t want to risk it. But I don’t want him to feel like he needs to take something every night! Is there anything I can do to help him get and keep an erection? Is it something I should bring up with him, or would that make him even more nervous?

She needs some space

So, I began dating this girl around may of 2016. We’ve been hanging out ever since and connected very well. We’re at the point to where we hold hands and kiss in public no matter where we are and have sex pretty often, almost as if we were a couple already. Weve even gived each other Christmas gifts and she bought me something for my birthday. From time, she tells me how much she appreciates me, that she wouldn’t want to spend her nights with anyone else and that I’m all she’s focusing on. I haven’t met any of her friends or her any of mine although I’ve invited to some events that she wasn’t able to attend. So overall we’ve been talking for about 7 months so I decided to go for it and ask to be officially my girlfriend. Her response was ” yes, I do but I don’t want to rush things” she told me that her previous relationship broke her and she realized that she needs some space to work on herself. I told her I completely understood and that I will give her some space. Since then, she continues to text me and periodically tells me she misses me. At this point I’m pretty confused and I want some advice as to what to do I this situation. I asked her specifically what she needed me to do in regards to giving her space, because I want to give enough space to work on herself but not to the point to where she thinks I’m pushing her away.

Difficult Relationship Situation

I have a confusing relationship situation. I have been dating a girl for several months and care about her deeply. But I don’t think I’m happy. We’re in the same section in our school band, and after I beat her in chair auditions she became very depressed (she thinks that she has no future) although she was depressed beforehand anyway. I’ve really tried to help her to be happier, and I do make her happy in the short term, but I know that she is still really depressed and I don’t know how to help her. And her depression is making me depressed too. I’ve thought about ending our relationship, but I’m afraid to. She is depressed and I’m afraid that if I end things she will hurt herself, which she has done in the past, but not in a long time. She thinks that she is worthless and I don’t want to reinforce that thought by breaking up with her, especially because she has said before that she is deeply in love with me and has stronger feelings for me that she has ever had before. Also, my best friend is a good friend of hers, and I don’t want to make things hard or awkward for him by breaking up with her, especially because he has become romantically interested in one of her friends, and I don’t want to ruin the potential for them to have a relationship. When I’m around my girlfriend I feel happy, but I honestly can’t see our relationship lasting (and yeah, we’re in high school, and those relationships almost never last anyway) especially because she’s a senior and I’m a sophomore. One of her friends is somewhat of a friendly mentor of ours and has helped us though a few problems in the past, and I also don’t want her (the mentor girl) to hate me for breaking up with her (the girl I’m dating). And I feel bad about this, but I think I might have a crush on someone else, who I’m pretty sure has liked me in the past. I kinda want to have a relationship with her. But I really don’t want to hurt anyone else. I don’t know what to do. I just know that I’m not very happy. If nothing else, I’ll just wait for her to graduate and let us drift apart, which I feel bad about. But I think that it’s the best solution to not hurt other people. I don’t know. If anyone has any advice it would be greatly appreciated. I apologize for how complicated this is. Thanks for reading this.

Girlfriend wants me to be friends with her ex

My gf is friends with a work colleague she had a ONS with, she wants me to be friends with him as well, I dont want to – what should I do?

We have been together about 2 years – they had their ONS about 3 years ago. He is a self confessed “player”. Although he does have a child from a previous relationship.

She went out to his birthday part recently and came back extremely drunk – she said they were drunk when they had the ONS. IT seems to me he just wants to constantly get her drunk so he can take advantage. But she has said to me she wants me to be friends with him – but I dont think I could be near him without picturing them together