Worth it?

Its been about 6 months now, but the past emotions sometimes catch me unawares.

We started as a friend group; myself and two of my high school friends and him. The feelings came crawling in for both of us. It was difficult to hide it. The whole office knew. Everything felt great until it didnt. I started to notice how much time him and my best friend were spending together. I would want to check in on him and discover he wasnt in his post and find out she wasnt on hers either. Ask around and its the same answer. ‘I saw her with him a few minutes ago’, or I’ll find them seated alone in a room. I cried to a mutual friend who asked me if I was just noticing this now,  meaning he had also observed.

Fast forward to confrontations,tears and embarrasing phone snooping, and short grudges and trying to be mature about everything, I found out that it was a lot harder to forgive her.

I felt and still feel a lot of discomfort when I’m around her. We had unresolved issues in the past and weren’t exactly the best of friends, but trying.

During our confrontation, she got very defensive, stated that whatever issue we had in the past had been settled from her end and the only reason I was upset was because of this triangle. She’s a very easy going life of the party person, same as he (something in common) and it had me thinking she had a point. Maybe I was the one who took things too seriously. Plus she does have her boyfriend.

My boyfriend still, started to keep his distance from her, I saw that, still wasnt clear with her. He mentioned how they’d spoken about defined boundaries and she didnt quite seem to like the idea. 2 times I brought it up, she didnt think it made a lot of sense as were all frieds to start with. She acknowlege that que should have kept her distance but in a ‘if thats what yowant to hear manner’

Everything seemed okay after. I was still very uncomfortable with her around but tried to make do.

All 3 of us girls had a short discussion one day where she metioned that she felt like her friend  (him) had been taken from her. This had me questioning what our years long friendhip then meant to her. Then another round of whispers, woke up on 2 occasions to find 2 missed calls on his phone from her and a whatsapp message early in the morning, shortly after, my second best friend slipped and told me that she told her that she did indeed have feelings for him and was trying to figure that out.

After this, I told myself I was done. Now we just say hi and hello, nothing more. I dont know if I’m being too harsh because I am still with my bf; somedays a little insecure but it passes, but I cant stand to say more than a sentence to her.  Is this unfair of me?


One thought on “Worth it?

  1. Just because she has a boyfriend doesn’t mean shit to a cheater. I’m not saying she’s a cheater or helps people cheat but this supposed best friend (had to re-read to make sure you called her that) is sure as hell acting like one. Sneaking around, not telling you about contact like the calls, and downright blaming you is shit a friend let alone a best friend does not do. There is something hidden here. Not sure if it’s one sided based on what was written but if your bf didn’t go straight to you to tell you she had called when he damn well knows how you feel then ya that’s a big possibility. There’s a pattern here and it’s of lying and disrespect. That is your answer.

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