What now?

I am a 41 year old man who’s 19 year relationship just ended. My wife lost her 4 year battle with cancer.   She died 2 only months.

Since she passed away several of my friends (women) have been treating me very differently, they seem interested in a romantic/physical relationship, 2 of the bolder ones have come right out and asked me out already.

The woman I am most interested in asking out has been a long time friend.  I really feel like we would be a good match.  But I was going to wait several months before asking her out, seams weird asking someone out so soon.

I haven’t accept any of the offers from the first 2 woman, because I don’t want to mess-up what could be with this woman.   Telling them I am not ready.

Should I tell these 2 woman why I said no, or does that just make me look like a jerk?

One thought on “What now?

  1. I’m very sorry to hear about your wife, my condolences.

    You need to move at a pace you’re comfortable with yourself.

    Never mind what anyone else thinks, if you’re ready you’re ready, if you’re not you’re not and it’s perfectly ok to rebuff someone for that reason. However, if you are ready to move forward with the woman you’re interested in then do so, what would be the point of waiting?

    Different situation but a warning:
    I was in love with a married woman for years, we even had affairs. I put an end to the affairs but we remained very close friends, each others confidants. When she divorced I decided she needed her time, didn’t want to pounce as soon as she got out of her marriage, for all kinds of reasons. So I gave her time. Then I got stuck in another country for over a year because of covid and now she’s dating an actual rockstar.

    If you’re ready yourself, don’t wait.

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