What is moral? Honesty vs loyalty

I am a middle aged mail, middle-class, who has been married for 15 years. Recently, I have realized I have very strong feelings for a coworker of mine. I have done everything I know of to ignore them, but they just grow every day. This has been going on for about three years. I know that I am in love with her, she is my best friend. I want to spend the rest my life with her. However, I still feel like I have a loyalty to my wife. While I love her and she is a great person, I am not in love with her. We are very much like roommates, and I don’t ever see that changing. I feel uncertain if she would rather have a divorce or live a comfortable roommate lifestyle. I would like to tell her everything, wrap up our marriage amicably, and be with my coworker. But the part of me that is loyal and wants to be honest makes me feel so guilty when I think about that. Any ideas on what I should do?

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