What do we do if his best friend is in love with me?


My boyfriend and I met when he started working with me. I had already been working with his childhood best friend for years prior to this. We were just friendly co-workers, never hung out outside of work or had any sort of friendship until his best friend came and I began dating him. Fast forward two years, and I’m very happily engaged and living with my boyfriend, but the entire time we’ve been dating (and even before, apparently!) his best friend has been obsessed with me, and trying everything he can to put my boyfriend and I against each other! Apparently this guy is wholly convinced that had my boyfriend never came along, he and I would have ended up together. Never a chance… Like I said, I wasn’t even friends with him before my boyfriend came.

His best friend thinks he introduced us, because he helped him get a job where we worked and thus it’s all his “fault” we’re together. He said he’s been in love with me for many years, and never said anything until his best friend showed interest… But every since we’ve gotten together he just puts his nose in everything. He has flat out told us both he’s in love with me, saying that “all is fair in love and eat” when I told him he should be ashamed of himself for trying to take his bff’s girl.

He sends me screenshots of private texts between my bf and himself, texts from long before we began dating, texts where my now boyfriend stated he had no interest in me, etc. He does that in an attempted to get us to fight, or break us up so he can have a chance with me. Today he sent a message from MONTHS ago that my bf had sent him, but waaaay out of context…he tried to take words from a normal, non related conversation with my boyfriend and twist it into “proof he’s going to leave me.”

But he thinks he’s smart and sneaky about what he’s trying to do, only my boyfriend and I see very clearly that this is just a jealous person. my boyfriend doesn’t want to lose his friendship with him, and he’s trying to tolerate him because the man has some deep-seated childhood traumas that make him think like a child. my boyfriend trying to be patient but he’s almost at the end of his rope with his friend trying to sabotage our relationship. He stated today that he’s getting pretty close to just punching him in the face, his patience is wearing pretty thin. what do we do? Both my boyfriend and I, separately, and together, have told his friend that he overstepped his boundaries with us and that he knows he’s trying to break us up because he’s obsessively in love with me, but it does very little. Even cussing him out and ignoring him only leads to him calling our phones and sending us messages back to back to back to back until he provokes someone into responding. Its been made abundantly clear that I would never be with this person no matter the circumstances. But he swears he’s in love with me, and then swears that he’s not, and then tries to make my boyfriend and I fight and has a “mental breakdown” where he “just can’t hide his feelings for me anymore and he’s sorry.”


I think he’s crazy. But he doesn’t want help… We’ve tried. You can’t rationalize with him. Please give me advice on how to make my boyfriends best friend leave me alone. With being able to SOMEHOW save their lifelong friendship.


Sorry so long. Thanks.

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