This is long, but please read ALL of it, and give a thorough response. Every detail is important.
Hi. I’m gabe, a gay junior in high school who is 17. I started talking to this boy in my grade, first occasionally, then more often. Eventually I Dm’d him, and I got his number. From there, we would have small talk at school, but I would text him all day and night about deep things. I came out to him, and I gradually developed feelings for him. He told me that he used to think he was bisexual, but now he’s straight. His parents were VERY traditional, and anti-gay. I honestly didn’t believe that he was straight, especially with how he would text me, and the fact that he did it so frequently. We FaceTimed often too. We talked about EVERYTHING together. It came to a point where he knew almost everything about me, he was my closest friend, but I wasn’t very close to him. He wouldn’t tell me a lot about his private life, but sometimes randomly would.
We hung out twice. The first time was amazing, we went and got coffee and he was so sweet. The second time, he was so awkward, and said derogatory comments about one of my female friends out of nowhere. I called him out about it, and ignored him for a little bit. He double texted me, and when I eventually forgave him, he told me he was scared I would stop talking to him. He apologized a lot BUT ONLY AFTER I MADE THE FIRST STEP TO FORGIVE HIM (That’s important later). He would rarely talk to me in class, but talk to my other friends around me. (This boy is VERY socially awkward, and rarely leaves the house (once every two months according to him)), yet he would FaceTime/call/text me all night. I was the most social interaction he had.
I called him out over text for acting strange for a couple days, and he said he wanted distance but was very vague. Then I tried to talk to him in person, and I couldn’t get a straight answer out of him – he couldn’t even look me in the eyes. He then told me he didn’t care about my feelings initially, and he wanted distance until the summer then we could hang out. He said we took it to fast. He also said a BUNCH of other hurtful shit, including that he felt obligated to talk to me, and that I “thrust this friendship” on him, even though that IS NOT TRUE. He would continue text conversations to me for WEEKS at a time. so i called him after school. He couldn’t give me a straight answer he kept saying “i don’t know”. I texted him later that night telling how much he hurt me. He completely ignored me, until I apologized for HIS mistakes the next day, saying I overreacted. From there, I was hurt but I gave him distance.
We eventually started texting everyday again, and I was so in love. We made plans to hang out so much during the summer (and watch love Simon!). He told me he liked texting me, and that he values our friendship. He also told me that he didn’t mean what he said, he just got busy and that’s why he wanted distance. UNTIL I texted him that I was still hurt by what he said before. He ignored me again, and I was angry. I asked him if he was going to continue ignoring me when I brought it up, and he said “what do you want me to say?” That just triggered me. I told him that he could apologize, or at least try to understand. He ignored me again. I double texted, and said that I am done being his backup friend, that I was so down for him but he wasn’t for me, and that I am not going to beg for his friendship. I said it was his loss, and that his actions have spoken louder than his words. I told him he treats me not good. He never replied, and now ignores me irl. I am so hurt.
We never talked about liking each other, we always talked about it as a “friendship”. I have no clue if he actually liked me, but some signs point to yes, others to no. No “friendship” to me is this dramatic, especially with two boys. He seemed to like me to but it was just SO many mixed signals.
I have told two friends about this, one that knew I liked him, and one that didn’t. Both said that I should block him on everything, and cut him off. I did remove him from all social media and deleted his number. I didn’t block his number though. He disrespected me, and it isn’t okay. However, I really liked him. But it’s pathetic if i reach out, and apologize again to him. He was in the wrong and he can’t own up to it. Last time he fucked up, i had to make the first move for him to talk to me again. He probably feels bad but isn’t saying anything?
I want to talk to him still though – maybe our issue is that we texted too much. I really wanted to hang out with him the summer, and eventually bring up the possibility of a relationship. Beyond the fact that I liked him, he was a close friend too that I lost. I kind of want to try and talk to him irl, but last time he couldn’t even talk to me. Everyone else is telling me to cut my losses, but I wanted him so badly. I still do. It was the first “relationship” I’ve ever had 🙁 Advice? Should I try and reach out and try again but only if he agrees to apologize? Should I end it? It’s clear he isn’t going to make the first move, it’s been days.