Should I tell a friend about my relationship with his late wife?
My wife and I became really good friends with another couple. Over the years we all became very flirty, though it was all done in fun. The other wife and I ended up emailing and chatting using secret email accounts. We exchanged experiences, stories, and photos. It was all done without the knowledge of our spouses, but after many years we ended up close enough that we would all end up naked in a hot tub on multiple occasions (just as friends, no sex). The other wife and I did fool around a few times (wandering hands, making out), but that fizzled out in 2015 as our friendship matured. The flirting remained, though. We’ve basically grown to be best friends since 2010. 🙂
While my wife wouldn’t be happy to find all this out, the other husband probably wouldn’t care so much. His wife often encouraged him to find a girlfriend. Their lifestyle and relationship was much more open than ours. She had a few guys she was emailing “on the side”, but I think other physical relationships stopped before we were friends. I think she’d tell me. So, even though they talked a good game, neither really acted on that stuff while we knew them. At least, not that I knew of.
Just recently, the other wife passed away. In the process of going through her stuff, the other husband found and accessed her secret email account. He emailed my secret email account (that does not use my real name) looking for closure and asking for details of our relationship. A quick search in my email account shows all the pics we sent each other over the years and all the venting we did about our spouses. The last time we used those accounts regularly was 2015.
I have not replied to him as I only checked that account after he mentioned he found his wife had all sorts of accounts (email, Spotify, iTunes, etc.) he didn’t know about.
Do I email him back as my secret identity, telling him we flirted and exchanged pics many years ago? Do I fess up that it’s me? I don’t think he’d be shocked, as I’ve been convince she told him or he somehow knew what we were up to. I’m 99% certain he’d keep my secret. Do I ignore it, since that email address is pretty much junk nowadays and it was chance that I even saw his email?