Disclaimer: I have never cheated on my girlfriend and I love her mote than Ive ever loved anyone before. I don’t feel like I’m a bad person but now Im not so sure.
So here’s the story. I have been with my partner for 6-7 years and I am fully in love with her our relationship isnt perfect but its pretty great in most respects. The problem is now (in the last 2 years) she never wants to have any kind of sexual intimacy, doesnt want to even been touched in those areas let alone have sex with me. It was great the first few years but has slowly decined since then and now I could probably count on one hand the amount of times we have been intimate on one hand in the last year or so and Im pretty sure we wont have sex again for many months if at all! Now I have talked to her about this and she says she is just not in the mood, not turned on and not interested (or the normal too tired/too stressed answer one gets). This for me has been highly frustrating I am quite a sexually driven person I would happy have sex most days but could be happy with sex once a week or so. However I love her and I am not one to try to emotionally blackmail her or make her feel bad so she feels she has to have sex with me (this would also be a massive turn off her just doing it to please me), so I have just been coping by masturbating (in secret) most nights to try and deal with my sexuals needs (its not really working). In every other way I have no complaints about our relationship I love her deeply and cant imagine my life without her in it (I have had a handful of partners before some I have loved but never to this level so this isnt just a first love blind naivety). So as you may imagine this has has given me many negative feelings. I feel completely unattractive, I feel like Ive done something wrong, that Im not sexy, that Im not good at sex, that there is something wrong with me, as well as all the sexual frustration that comes with this situation. Now comes the reason I am posting… I have a friend (a girl) that has made it amply clear that she wants to have sex with me. So what do I do? I never thought I would understand the urge to cheat but I am having very conflicting feelings which are ripping me apart I love my girlfriend but does that mean I have to possibly never have sex again? My options as far as I can see are (a) leave my girlfriend (b) cheat on my girlfriend and live with the guilt (c) stay with my girlfriend and possibly never have sex again. Are there other options? Ive tried suggesting an open relationship but she said she would end it if I cheat. I feel like a terrible person, I dont want to leave my girlfriend, but I don’t want to never have sex again.