Sex and Anxiety

Anonymous Relationship Advice

Sex and Anxiety

I am seeing a guy, we’re both 22, and last weekend we went out with some friends, drank quite a bit, went home together, and had sex for the first time. That night, he had a hard time staying hard, which we both attributed to him having drank a lot, early the next morning we tried again, and he was hard, but maybe for only 10 minutes. We didn’t really talk about it and it wasn’t awkward the next morning, but he did say he was sorry for the ‘poor performance’ last night. I think he might have a bit of anxiety, and he seemed a little embarrassed. It really didn’t matter to me, I just hope I wasn’t the reason!

This weekend we went out again, drank, came home together and started to hook up and he was very hard the whole time.. for nearly 3 hours until we called it quits for the night. I don’t think he ever came, which seems to be a side effect of Viagra (according to google at least haha). I have a feeling he may have taken something to help him have an erection. Not sure if it’s something that I should bring up with him?

It could be that he was nervous that the same thing might happen as did the first night, and that he didn’t want to risk it. But I don’t want him to feel like he needs to take something every night! Is there anything I can do to help him get and keep an erection? Is it something I should bring up with him, or would that make him even more nervous?


One Response

  1. Anonymous says:

    I wouldn’t bring up the Viagra suspicion, it might make him feel even more insecure. You could try approaching the topic by telling him that quickies are awesome sometimes, and maybe ease the pressure he feels to be a marathoner everytime. Or let him know that foreplay is far more important to take time on because it builds up the anticipation so that neither of you will last long.
    Basically try to build his confidence when you approach the topic. Don’t make him feel like you only want to talk about the problems. I hope that helps

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