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Poly Insecurity

Anonymous Relationship Advice

Poly Insecurity

This feels like a humblebrag or boast, but it really isn’t.

I’m polyamorous, and have been for 2 years now. I have long-distance relationships with 3 women (let’s call them A, B & C). They all know about each other, and they all claim they are good with it, although only C has got other partners (which I’m totally OK with). But all 3 are getting increasingly insecure, afraid that I’ll leave them in favour of one or the other, which isn’t what I want at all. In fact, the only thing which I can imagine would provoke me leaving any of them is if they get too insecure and push for monogamy alone with me.

All three are very different, but I care for them all equally (and listen to their problems and support them and everything). At the moment, C is the one who makes me happiest, simply because she is the one who seems the most secure. Am I just being greedy? But I can’t see myself going for monogamy, as I enjoy the variation of life and the joy of discovery with each of them so much. And just being stuck with one person — even if that one person is amazing — I know would grind me down.

But is it selfish to want such happiness for myself if it makes the others insecure? How can I help reassure them all?

 

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