Never Make my man cum

This is a long one…
This morning after 3 weeks of not giving my boyfriend an orgasm, we began to have oral sex. I was giving him a blow job and playing with his balls. He started to play with my clit and then it got a bit raw. I ask him to grab the lube, and didn’t know at the time that was a selfish request. Because not only had he given me several orgasms over the last two weeks, while I gave him none, it was a request that continued to show my selfish behavior. I add the lube and he immediately started to play with my clit. I continued to lay back while he played with me and left him with no oral action in the process. I abandoned him, as many times before, him while he was taking care of me. I decided to use my foot, as he had earlier used his very capable toes to move something from the bed and it turned me on as I was undressing him. This toe movement was a throwback to that, but it showed again that I was putting in no effort into our love making, and was when he told me he was done have sex. This is a longer dry spell than we normally go through, however it makes me realize that I think about my own needs in the bedroom and leave him to finish himself. He will usually pull out, or he will cum in my ass. We typically have sex for 1-2 hours and he makes me orgasm many, many times in the process. Today he let me know that I have never given him an orgasm and showed him that my goal is to only take care of myself and not take care of him. I want him to be satisfied as well. He has brought up the fact that I am a bit selfish in bed before, and each time I start out strong with giving him a surprise blowjob, but I often find myself becoming lazy again and not taking care of him. I don’t want to just lay there like I’ve been sedated. I want to be an active participant in the bedroom. He has also said that my actions show him that I don’t really want to be with him, and don’t desire him. I have to wonder at times is he right? I have so many orgasms to his one, how do I fix this?

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