I’ve worked with this guy for about two years. Around June we got assigned to the same project with people we didnt know, and he seemed to struggle with the new team. We had never been close but I decided to offer him an olive branch and try to include him in my own circle. We have similar interests so it just made sense.

Everything was fine for a month or two – I thought we were becoming friends. Until he turned cold. I don’t know what triggered it, but he started distancing himself, wouldn’t even greet me in the morning, only spoke to me if I asked a question.

Surprised by this change of tune, I gave it a few weeks before I decided to ask what was wrong. He insisted it was nothing…then why had he stopped talking to me?

Reply: “I’m sorry I have a GF!”

WHAT? I still dont know what that was supposed to mean. There was nothing going on between us. I just thought we were friends. Not knowing how to respond, I backed off. Maybe if I gave him some space he would come around.

It took another month and a half, but he started chatting with me again. Great, right? That was my initial reaction. But his behavior now is very hot and cold. He’ll come up to my desk five times one day and then not talk to me for a week. Send me PMs but when I respond never write back. And he’s become a bit touchy – which he wasnt before (nothing major – no need to call HR yet).

I’m thinking he still believes I’m attracted to him. Not only is this incorrect, but he told me himself he has a GF. So why the weirdness? Can we actually be friends, or do I need to cut him off? Does he just not know where the line is?