I did a drug with some friends of mine, (coke.) Yes, I must agree with my wife, this is bad. We both smoke pot but the fact that I didn’t tell her about the other drug is something I have been shamed for for a long time. Hiding it from her was bad, I agree and I have told her as much. I told her about it when confronted and I feel bad about it. It happened again a year later. Both times I hid it from her. I have not done it since and am embarrassed about doing it. A couple years later she slept with another guy. She says they are both lies. Which I must say is true. And if I bring up her sleeping with the other guy she says we both did bad things. I lied about the drug use. She lied about sleeping with another man, a coworker of hers that she called and texted and saw outside of work when I was working. The affair lasted 3 or 4 months. Whenever I try to talk to her about it she just says we have both done bad things. Me lying and her cheating. Somehow I feel like what she did was worse but I am open to being shown how they were both just as bad and comparable. I just know if I had not done the drug but had went and slept with another woman at any point in our relationship she would have left me on the spot. But I feel like since I lied to her I must forgive her the way she forgave me. I am scared she will do it again or still is.