Looking for some perspective on some very poor timing

Hey there, 

So I had been seeing this girl for the past five months or so. We would go on dates at least twice a week, dinners, walks, you name it. 

Maybe four months into it she sort of asks the ‘what are we’ question. I told her honestly that I wasn’t looking for anything serious, and that I had just recently gotten out of a long term relationship. She said she was looking for something serious. 

We kept hanging out as usual for a few more weeks. Just last week we went on a nice date together and she basically said I don’t want to be F buddies, we can be friends or not but that’s kind of where I’m at. I had said we should give it a shot. 

She was taken back ‘well you didn’t want to do that stuff before, you didn’t seem into meeting my friends or anything’ 


I agreed to giving it a real shot because I think there’s something there between us. 

Over the next week she had been somewhat distant. When we got together yesterday she basically said I can’t do this anymore. You said we weren’t serious and then we were. I was confused and now I can’t go back to seeing this as serious when you said it wasn’t. I’m really sorry, maybe we can be friends some day etc etc. 

I guess I’m just trying to get my head around this. It’s been like three days since we spoke. She’s a special girl and I do think there’s a good relationship here. Wondering what you all think. 

Any help is appreciated. 

One thought on “Looking for some perspective on some very poor timing

  1. Hi,
    Seems to be a couple of things happening here. First up, it’s good you want to give this girl a shot, however, think about it carefully before commiting. Sometimes mixed signals can be make your potential partner feel offput and confused if what you say one day differs to the next, but if you feel she’s right for you, she’ll appreciate that you have given this some real thought.
    Secondly, you might find after this conversation with her (definately tell her that you’ve been thinking about it carefully) that you) don’t hear the response you are hoping for, even if, to the best of your intentions, you are genuinely assessing the situation by not rushing into some lathing more serious. Ultimately, she will have to make a decision too.

    I hope you find a way to work it, but just remember, it’s easier to jump onto relationships on a re-bound so be thoughtful, take your time and one way or another you will both figure out what you want.

    Best of luck bud 🙂

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