Lately I’ve been cheating on my girlfriend with an old ex and I don’t know how to get over her

Hello, I’ve like to say before I start with my whole story that I am very thankful for whoever took their time to read all this and help me out with my situation which is really difficult for me to handle, so it all starts with me and my girlfriend, we’ve been together for almost 3 months and I’ve been trying to get at her for almost a year and i finally managed to get a shot with her and then there’s this other girl who I have a little bit of feelings for her and tomorrow me and her planned out to give each other “one last kiss” and you see she’s really innocent and I feel I only mess with her because he defenseless (which she’s taken by one of my friends) and my problem is that I don’t know how to even prevent myself to having feelings for her because earlier today she told me she still had feelings for me and I admitted I did too and I felt really bad for my girlfriend because I’ve really been trying to get at her for ages and I decide to cheat on her? You see I’ve done stuff with my girlfriend behind her back with the exact same girl and she’s given me chances and still cared and loved me. Which hurts me the most is that my girlfriend doesn’t even let me talk to her because she knew I did stuff behind her back and I can’t even text her (I understand just because I know how it feels to be cheated on) I wouldn’t want to admit that I still had feelings cause I feel like I’d scar her I just need help on overcoming this girl and force myself to stay loyal ! I’d love anything other than breaking up with my girlfriend due to the fact that I feel like I have hope in myself to change myself just for her, I’d like to know any ways to help me move on and respect my girlfriend and the other girl as well as her boyfriend

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