So i’ve been dating this guy for two years now. Our relationship is great when we don’t have arguments. We are very affectionate with each other, we like to cuddle, get foolish, exchange gifts for no reason etc. A fulfilling relationship from my point of view. I must specify that he is the whiner kind of person. Everything in his life is “wrong”, his job, his parents’ situation, his activities, his lack of time ohh and what not. So everytime, everyday he was complaining about something. At the beginning i was frustrated with his complaining style, but i got used to it, because sometimes you have to accept the other with the good and the bad. This didn’t bother me at all compared to what he does when we have a serious argument. From the beginning, he used to threat with a break up, every time we had an argument. And by argument, i mean, something that escalated from a very small issue. At the beginning i used to freak out, to beg him, to cry, get anxious, apologize for whatever i didn;t do. But i later realized he was just bluffing. Last time he did that i said “ok, i do not have the power to fight for this relationship anymore!”, and then suddenly he “changed” his mind. The last argument was me having a nervous breakdown because of some difficulty i am having in redecorating my house. He just didn;t want to hear about my problem. I got really angry because i didn’t feel that my problem was as important to him, as his issues are to me. He backfired, like always, threatening with the break up, insulting etc. I tried talking to him the same evening, but in my oppinion he was so angry or so stuck on the fact that i was histerical. It wasn’t towards him, it was me crying my soul out and shouting because i couldn;t get things done properly and in time for Christmas. Since then I heard nothing from him. He always did that, 5-6 days of no contact until i called. I just don;t know what to do….I am his first long relationship (he’s 37 years old) and i really love him. I noticed that at the beginning he was very shy about normal things in a couple (from farting, to being more emotionally available) and he changed a lot since then. In a good way! He’s got very comfortable with me. He got more attentionate etc. I just wonder if i am naive thinking that he will ever change his way of reacting ? I am just afraid that if he does this now, if we will ever have a family, he will hit the road whenever times are hard? Is it worthy to hope or should i go through this breakup?I have to say that so many times this “break-up” thing happened that i got used to it, to the idea, to the thought of us not being together anymore, to the fact that he takes me for granted. It does break my heart but i just don’t have the energy to fight anymore.
Saturday, December 03, 2022