Anonymous post please
I’m in a sticky situation. I separated with my (now ex) husband in December 2017, he made some poor choices while drinking that landed him in jail and it was something I could never forgive him for. CSC 4th degree, after attempting to come on to our 16 year old babysitter. I left him immediately, but for personal reasons, divorce wasn’t filed until nearly a year later. It was a long and difficult road for me as I was raising 3 kids and finishing nursing school. In November 2018. In January 2019, I reconnected with a guy that I went to school with, our parents were friends growing up, I have known him my whole life, he is absolutely amazing and we quickly were head over heels. Just a complete match. Everything felt so natural and just “right”. He is my person. ❤
So, here’s the problem….
He is a probation officer at the office where my ex husband is issued. NOT my ex’s probation officer directly, but is employed there which made is a conflict of interest. Long story short, we’ve kept our relationship a complete secret from everyone, until my divorce was final. Then he let his supervisor know we were “talking”. Which was approved. He notified the proper authority, and there was no issues with it. His supervisor basically said “Well, it’s a small town and shit happens but since shes divorced there aren’t any issues with it”. Yesterday, I got a text from him at work that he is being investigated and placed on temporary leave, he isn’t sure why yet but we are 99% sure it is due to our relationship. They must have found out we started talking prior to the finalization of the divorce. There is nothing else it could be. I am a wreck. I can’t help but feel like I am 100% responsible for this and the potential that he could lose his job over me is eating me alive. He is also a mess, has been very short with me, this was a long career for him and one he enjoyed very much. I dont know what to say to him, how to respond, if I should even try or if it will just make him shut down even more. I’m terrified if losing him because he is one of the best things that has ever happened to me and we are perfect for each other. I need advice please. Anything. Why do things have to be so complicated?? Why did I have to meet the most perfect person at the worst time? Will we be able to stay together and get past this? Or will he hold a forever resentment toward me if he loses his job because of me??