This is gonna be long so I apologize in advance:
We never officially “dated” but I was involved with her back in 2012. The summer of 2012 we fell in love with each other…she said it first. I took her to my brother’s wedding in the fall (without actually having a plus one to bring…after having my own wedding I realize that was a shitty shitty thing to do).
By the beginning of the year we became increasingly distant. I would go up to visit her at school and it was fun but just wasn’t the same. When she graduated she secured a job back home and actually very close to where I was living at the time. She would stay over my house since her parents were clear across town about 40 minutes and didn’t have a spot of her own. Then I was informed by her best friend that she was moving into a place with her boyfriend and that I shouldn’t get involved with her anymore. Heartbroken, I agreed.
That May & June we had more sex than I think we were having the whole first summer. She would come over nearly everyday after work for a little bit, if not to spend the night. She wasn’t ready to be done and neither was I. The last time we hung out and had sex was THE DAY BEFORE HER BOYFRIEND WAS SUPPOSED TO MOVE IN. So a few weeks after that I saw her and we both agreed that if she wanted to be with dude we couldn’t continue to do this because I’m not that guy…even if he was kind of a douchebag. The last time I saw her was at a party for Xmas in July where as I walked her to her car we made out and got a little handsy in the street.
It took me about a year to get over her and then I found out that she was engaged to that guy. I guess we really were done. But shortly after that I met a girl who changed my life. Its eerie how perfect she is for me. And for years I had forgotten about girl 1.
Girl 2 and I got married almost a year ago now and I couldn’t be happier. Fast forward to this week….
I have had a dream about Girl 1 for probably 7 of the last 10 nights. They are so vivid and realistic. Sex dreams, dreams that take place in a reality where we never stopped talking, and dreams about us both leaving our spouses and raising her son together (which is a strange thing to dream, no?), random dreams where its just like running into her at the grocery store, dreams where I run into her whole family…its just really weird and I don’t like it. But how am I supposed to not dream??
If I really am as happy as I feel with my wife, why am I having these dreams? And what do they mean? And its not even like theres conflict in my mind. I’m in a different stage of my life and I’m head over heels for my wife. I’m not comfortable talking to my friends or family about this so figure I’d ask strangers