About 3 years ago I was dating this Girl named Kaylee, we were dating for a few months and I found out she was cheating on me with multiple other guys. By then we broke up and I got depression. The next few months I was depressed but getting better as the days went on, I was still getting bullied for my weight and was even told that my boobs were bigger than my sisters. Late 2019 this girl i’ve known online for a few years randomly messaged me and asked if I had discord. I said yes and now we’re hanging out everyday. One day one of her friends named Lexi messaged me telling me that Ravyn (the girl who I was just talking about) had a crush on me. I asked her out about a day later and i’m not going to lie it was awkward as hell. We pretty much talked 24/7 as all new couples do and one day she just stopped talking to me. I messaged her friend Lexi and she said that her phone was taken away by her parents. Not long after that we broke up and just when I thought my depression was gone it came back and hit me like a bag of bricks. This time the depression didn’t fade away, it stayed and I attempted suicide by trying to overdose on my dads blood pressure pills but it didn’t work. It’s the beginning of 2020, 3 months after me and Ravyn broke up. I was at my house playing on my PC when I got a phone call, my dad had a stroke. He ended up being okay but he continued to drink and ruin his health. It’s november of 2020, i’m quarantined in my house and my school is online. I ended up getting really stressed out on one of the tests that I was having (I think it was Global History) and I ended up getting distracted and decided to play Minecraft. I met this girl named Kay, (Yeah I know weird coincidence that i’d end up dating 2 Kay’s.) Me and her became friends on discord and ever since the beginning of 2021 we’ve been dating. But I still feel depressed, don’t get me wrong Kay makes me feel happy but I still feel depressed at the same time (it’s hard to explain). I’ve been having alot of suicidal thoughts and I can’t get rid of them. All the years of mental abuse is catching up to me and i’m starving myself. How can I get better if no can help me?
Wednesday, August 10, 2022