I started talking to this guy, but now he is telling me he has a girlfriend. What do I do?

  • Hi, I’m 17 and I recently got my first job in the beginning of June. I was really excited to start working and making my own money. My first day I met a girl who was supposed to train me. She seemed nice at first, but she began to tell my coworker who started training me as well, that she didn’t like me and most notably “didn’t you have a terrible time with her?” He disagreed saying he thought I did well and was really nice. This is where my friendship with him began. So the girl, Becca, had started to turn my other coworkers against me. I have no idea what I even did to her to make her dislike me. I thanked her for the things she showed me, which she didn’t really cover everything… and I didn’t give her a hard time. Thomas stood up for me. He even tipped off the manager so they would be aware of how they were acting. I really appreciated it. Since then, we started getting closer and even texting. Which led to flirting, and confessing we like eachother. For the past few days, we have been staying up until 7 AM texting with eachother all night. After talking for hours one night… he revealed to me that he had a girlfriend of 5 years. He lives with her and her parents… he told me she convinced him to move to my city from wherever they were staying, and they got kicked out of their first apartment. He believes her ultimate goal was for them to move in with her family so she could “trap” him. He told me about their relationship, and how it’s been lacking and going badly for a long time, how they could not communicate and he did not love her anymore. He says he is stuck until he can find a place of his own, which he has been trying to do for a while. I was shocked. He had never mentioned her to me, and on his facebook they were no pictures of just the two of them, rather there were a few with them out together with a group of friends, so I had assumed she was a friend! He had no relationship status either. Of course, I know that it isn’t right to continue talking to him under the circumstances, but I feel I am in too deep and I genuinely enjoy talking to him… he still wants to see me and be more than friends, but to just keep it under wraps for a while. I feel just as stuck as he does. That’s not the only issue… he’s also 26. 9 years older than me, the same age as my older brother who quite frankly, would NEVER even consider getting with someone my age. The only reason find myself so conflicted is that to put it simply, I’ve been in this funk for a while now, after breaking up with my last boyfriend over a year ago, who started to abuse me. When I met Thomas I started to feel happy again. He is now telling me that he is in love with me. I’m so confused on what to do. Our conversations are so deep and I don’t want to cut him off. I have no one to turn to… any advice?

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