I played myself?

What should I do? I’m an 18 year old girl & never been romantic or sexual with anybody, I met the perfect guy, fall hard, second time we chill I stupidly acted rude & ungrateful towards his efforts and didn’t express my feelings, due to me never being vulnerable before. I acted like somebody I wasn’t due to embarrassment of myself. The same night it got sexual, mutually, & he tried to have sex after a while of foreplay(?) and I blatantly rejected him repeatedly, not wanting him to know I’m a virgin. Two days later he ghosts me. It’s been 3 months, I still miss him & I feel if I was honest & genuine, it wouldn’t have ended so fast. I’ve been devastated, exhausted and lonely since. I can’t forget about him & I know he wants nothing to do with me.

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