I just dont know what’s next.

I have had a crush on this girl, for about one year now. We went out for 2 times last year. I don’t know. It was like “friend date”, just the two of us. When I went out with her for the first time, things were ….good. She was friendly, we were somehow getting closer to each other and I am that type of guy who does not want to rush things and get to know each other first. We texted each other for a few times every week. Things were somehow progressive, I guess.

And then, just a few months later, towards the end of the year, I just noticed that suddenly, there is a distance between us. Compared to when we first got to know each other, it’s like I can feel that she’s slowly stopped talking to me or getting cold towards me (kinda, or at least that’s what I felt). I don’t know if it is because something else or because of a question I asked during second “friend date”, which I asked if she has ever dated anyone before..romantically. She replied No but maybe after her studies. I just took note of it, continues the conversation as usual and walked her home that night.

I get it if she does not want to be in relationship now or so but I don’t want this friendship forged to be gone, just like that. To be honest, I don’t have friends, except her, if you count. I have no one else to talk to. I have had depression because of that, too.

Yes, I want to get to know her more as friends, close friends first but the way things are now, its kinda awkward, I guess. We barely talk. I am already an awkward person. With this happening, it had me thinking of what’s next (I do overthink a lot, too). Now and then, I will try to text her but she will give those one word and short replies, which makes me feel like she does not want to talk.. so we have not been texting each other for a few months now. Also, I did not want to irritate her.

Still, like I said, I do not want to give up on her and moving on is the last thing I want to try, because the last time I did, it took me nearly one and a half year or pain and misery. She’s been on my mind almost everyday these days and I am just really confused as to what’s next.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.