I have a boyfriend but a strong sexual appetite for women..

Anonymous Relationship Advice

I have a boyfriend but a strong sexual appetite for women..

First off, please don’t be mean. I’m a female in a two year relationship with my current boyfriend. While I was with him, I realized that I was bisexual (don’t know why it took so long because it was OBVIOUS) so prior to this realization I’d never had a sexual experience with another girl. I ended up hanging out with one of his female friends who I’d been jealous of. I thought meeting her and being friends with her would make me feel more comfortable with their friendship. Well, I ended up drinking too much that night and we went out to the bars together where we made out a lot and danced on each other. When we were alone it got a little more intense. She let me play with her boobs and I kept telling her I wanted to “fuck” her. Later that night we were just hanging out and talking. She was leaning her head on me while I played with her hair and it just felt really good.. Thankfully, that’s as far as it went. I guess I didn’t realize the gravity of the situation and how much it would affect my boyfriend. I felt terrible about it the next day and told him everything. It almost ended our relationship, go figure. Fast forward a year and we’re still together but my sexual urges to have sex with women haven’t faltered. I wish there were a way to explore this side of my sexuality without losing him. We’ve talked about it and he is 100% not comfortable with me sleeping with another girl without him which is understandable because I wouldn’t like it either. Obviously, it’s a really sensitive topic because of the shitty choices I’ve made in the past but how should I approach this subject? I considered waiting a little longer just for the hell of it. Maybe as time passes we will both feel secure enough in our relationship to have a threesome. I thought about asking him if I or both of us together could join a sex chat with other women. I don’t know. If you have any experience, suggestions, annoyances, please share. I’m strugglin :/ I know I don’t want a relationship anyone else, I just don’t want to die not knowing what it’s like to have sex with a woman.


One Response

  1. Anonymous says:

    I think you essentially have 3 choices:

    1) You control your urges for other women, and focus more efforts on fulfilling that with greater intimacy and fun between you and your boyfriend.
    Pro: He will love it! You will enjoy the new vigour too.
    Con: You wont get to explore your desire for women and it may keep gnawing at you. Our desire for things that we cant have often increases the more we run away from it.

    2) You call things off with your boyfriend and explore your sexual appetite for women.
    Pro: You can fully explore this desire and unpack whether its a phase, or something more real. It will also allow you to choose which preference is stronger, women or men?
    Con: It’ll be a painful road as you probably still have feelings for your boyfriend and dont want to hurt him or yourself. However, this is the cost of exercising this option.

    3) You propose the idea of a threesome with your boyfriend and another bisexual female.
    Pro: you get to explore your sexuality for women with your boyfriend. Your boyfriend has a more kinky time with 2 females making him feel desired and it he’s around so he doesnt feel cheated.
    Con: Boyfriend may not be interested in threesomes but feels the intimacy of sex between the two of you as special and doesn’t want to tarnish that with a threesome. You will have to approach this carefully. You may find that either your boyfriend or you in this threesome gets attracted to the third party female more than each other

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