My partner and I have been together for 3 1/2 years now. We have a very open, trusting, communicative, and loving relationship. For about a year and a half now, I’ve had a really low sex drive. Having sex like 2 back-to-back days a month and thats it low. I know it is hard for him. He tells me he feels unwanted and I know that no matter how many times I tell him (and he knows) I want him that it is still hard. I told him he could sleep with other people, as we’ve opened our relationship before when we have to do long distance for a few months. But there was some miscommunication with that and he slept with someone when I wasn’t expecting it and that hurt me a lot. At the moment we’re doing long distance again until December. He’s sleeping with other people and it has been really hard on me given recent events but I’m working on it. I don’t want to control his life. When I get back in town I really want to be a more dependable sexual partner. The thing is I feel this immense pressure that if I give out a little, he expects more out of me than I want. We’ve discussed planning to have sex like once a week, but even that expectation puts an uncomfortable weight on me. We’ve talked about this together so much and we feel stuck, so I feel some outside advice would be helpful. Especially from anyone in my shoes. Your advice is so greatly appreciated!!
Sunday, September 26, 2021