Okay, so this is happening. I met this guy when he came to work at the same office as me. He was great from the start. He looked me in the eye when he spoke to me and didn’t interrupt me (which I get a lot from guys) and never got weird or defensive about me training him or asking me for help when he had a question. We both started goofing around a lot but also talking about substantial things like politics or philosophy. We started swapping stories about our families and childhood. He’s interested in my major… and he never once made a stupid joke about working with a bunch of women. He complimented me but not in a skeevy way. At the time I thought he was just a really nice guy being friendly, so I didn’t think too much of it.
I’m not exactly sure when it started to happen, but we talked more and he kept trying to come up with a nickname for me. It’s kind of sweet. He’s shown concern for my safety and he’s been offering me hugs. Nice hugs. And I’m so comfortable with him that my feet move before I can think about it and I hug him back. He’s actually not trying to cop a feel.
He really casually asked me if I was seeing anyone not too long ago, but hasn’t brought it up again. I’m not seeing anyone. And I was becoming aware that I was having really mushy feelings for this guy.
This realization was closely followed by my thinking that I was probably just reading way too much into the whole thing. He’s probably just being nice. But I miss him when he’s not at work and I feel safe with him. The feeling safe with him is kind of a big deal for me. I’m really careful about who I let into my life, even more when it comes to guys. I’ve been really focused on work and school and just trying to hold everything together so most interactions with dudes, for me, are just fending off creepy guys at the campus library or on public transportation…
I feel like the thing to do is just to tell him how I feel, but we WORK together. It’s a really chill office (just ask the roaches) but it feels unprofessional and it might cause problems if things go south. Also, if he doesn’t feel the same way, I really don’t want to lose him as a friend if it weirds him out. But maybe he’s thinking the SAME thing and that’s why it hasn’t gone farther than ‘are you seeing anyone?’ yet…
So I’m wigging out a little. I’m not sure what to do. I’ve kind of been looking around for something innocuous we could do together outside of work… and feeling really ridiculous about it?
Thoughts? Thanks for reading!