Me and my fiancé have been together 10 years. We don’t really have sexual intimacy any more due to my health, but we still kiss and cuddle a lot and are deeply affectionate and in love.

Today I found his old phone and thought it was odd that it was in the bathroom, so I snooped (guilty I know). No messages or other women in his contacts. But a hell of a lot of porn. Files upon files of other women from the internet, naked and sometimes dressed. There’s also a snapchat file with nude and provocative pictures in. But I tried logging into his snapchat and couldn’t. I don’t know whether these came off line or what.

Point is, I feel sad and hurt by all this porn, but don’t know if I should, because he’s got to get it from somewhere and if I’m not sexually active then I can’t blame him. But I think it’s the fact it’s all on an old phone that bothers me? Seems secretive? I told him I found the phone (didn’t say I turned it on) and he said it was bundled in his trousers and must have fell off his shelf. I know that’s a lie because the history shows he looks at porn every day – probably in the shower whilst I’m asleep.

I cant talk to him about it because I’m guilty of snooping. I think the snapchat thing is bothering me because I don’t know if they’re images offline or not.

I need to not be grumpy with him when he gets home. Help.