Difficult Relationship Situation

Anonymous Relationship Advice

Difficult Relationship Situation

I have a confusing relationship situation. I have been dating a girl for several months and care about her deeply. But I don’t think I’m happy. We’re in the same section in our school band, and after I beat her in chair auditions she became very depressed (she thinks that she has no future) although she was depressed beforehand anyway. I’ve really tried to help her to be happier, and I do make her happy in the short term, but I know that she is still really depressed and I don’t know how to help her. And her depression is making me depressed too. I’ve thought about ending our relationship, but I’m afraid to. She is depressed and I’m afraid that if I end things she will hurt herself, which she has done in the past, but not in a long time. She thinks that she is worthless and I don’t want to reinforce that thought by breaking up with her, especially because she has said before that she is deeply in love with me and has stronger feelings for me that she has ever had before. Also, my best friend is a good friend of hers, and I don’t want to make things hard or awkward for him by breaking up with her, especially because he has become romantically interested in one of her friends, and I don’t want to ruin the potential for them to have a relationship. When I’m around my girlfriend I feel happy, but I honestly can’t see our relationship lasting (and yeah, we’re in high school, and those relationships almost never last anyway) especially because she’s a senior and I’m a sophomore. One of her friends is somewhat of a friendly mentor of ours and has helped us though a few problems in the past, and I also don’t want her (the mentor girl) to hate me for breaking up with her (the girl I’m dating). And I feel bad about this, but I think I might have a crush on someone else, who I’m pretty sure has liked me in the past. I kinda want to have a relationship with her. But I really don’t want to hurt anyone else. I don’t know what to do. I just know that I’m not very happy. If nothing else, I’ll just wait for her to graduate and let us drift apart, which I feel bad about. But I think that it’s the best solution to not hurt other people. I don’t know. If anyone has any advice it would be greatly appreciated. I apologize for how complicated this is. Thanks for reading this.

2 Responses

  1. Harry says:

    I’m in a situation similar the only advice i could give is that if you want to be with her stay. If you dont try and talk to her about her depression and try and smooth things out. Your relationship can last but you both need commitment. If she is depressed all the time try and change that, on the weekends go on dates or have revision sessions for a subject you are both studing. If you really Love her stay, make her happy. If you continue to try and make her happy all the time maybe she will change and be happy but unfortunately you will have to tough it out for a few weeks/months to allow any change to develop (Also regular contact helps)

  2. Everything is very open and very clear explanation of issues. was truly information. Your website is very useful. Thanks for sharing.

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