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Coping with girlfriend moving away for 18 months.

Anonymous Relationship Advice

Coping with girlfriend moving away for 18 months.

My girlfriend of over three years is moving away (5hr flight) to do an 18 month program and as much as I support her and am happy for her, it’s tearing me up. Long story short we both grew up in the same town and after getting really close over 10 ish months it was time for both of us to move to the “big city” (which is a 2 hour drive plus 2 hour ferry ride away) for University. We knew it was early but decided to move into together for a few reasons, it saved us money, we were “young and in love” and it would be nice having a piece of home with us as it was both of our first time leaving home. Fast forward and we’re still together, still in the same basement we moved into originally and still just as in love with eachother. She recently got accepted into a 18 month dental hygiene program and will be moving cross country in a few weeks, we’ve known for a while she’d be leaving but I was in denial the whole time to really supress my own emotions. I can’t move with her because of my own school and career path and she will be moving back because her whole life and family is here. Although she’s sad and upset too and I’m trying to console her as much as I can I’m barely hanging on myself. The thing for me is that my whole life in the “big city” was with her, we work at the same place, go to the same gym, all the activites, groceries, little things like doing laundry and cleaning, literally we’ve done everything together for 2 plus years and in a few weeks I won’t have any of it. For her, she’ll be in a new place, developing new habits and having a new job and new gym and new activities that never involved me so she’ll be able to do those things just fine. But for me,  I’ll be waking up in the same bed, going to the same job and same gym, same everything but none of it will be with her, I know it’s not healthy to be this dependant on someone but I can’t help it, our home and our things will be forever changed, when she comes back we’ll be in a new house/apartment and our place will be forever gone. I’m not ready to close this chapter and it’s killing me that we won’t be closing this chapter together and I’ll be living in “our place” without her and with a different roomate for months to come.

One Response

  1. Anonymous says:

    Thankfully you’re supportive of her and not putting her down and making her feel bad for following her dreams. It’s understandable for you to be feeling this way and you should tell her that but also be encouraging of her decision at the same time.
    Just keep in mind that you guys can video chat in your free time and maybe do a surprise visit in you break.
    This time will also test the relationship and yes it’s going to be hard but it will prove to both of you that although you aren’t together nothing has changed.
    Never forget that a healthy relationship involves those involved to support each other and motivate one another to accomplish these individual goals as well as goals set together 🙂
    Hope this helped and goodluck.

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