I’ll try to keep it short;
- In a 10 year relationship (and just bought a house together a year ago)
- Everything is great apart from sex life
- Suffered from depression for ages but pretty good at handling it
- Lack of sex making depression worse (but rest of relationship is great)
- Have been on a self destructive path the last year (binge drinking, drugs, cheated a few times)
- Last time cheating was a couple weeks ago
- Still talking to the person and totally falling for her (everything else has been a one night stand)
- Know I should come clean with my partner and possibly break up with her, but I’d rather kill myself than break her heart
That’s the the broad overview… There’s a lot of other details and complications but I don’t think they add anything to the overall issue.
I’ve been to the doctor and have started the process of trying to get counseling. But who knows how long that will take.
I need to work out if wanting to break up is just part of my self destructive year caused by depression, or if wanting to break up has caused the depression to get worse and manifested itself in this self destructive form…