At a Loss

My roommate moved his girlfriend in just under a year ago now. At first they were lovey dovey; they acted how you expect they would in a new relationship. Things simmered down but she seemed okay with it but I could tell she wasn’t always as chipper anymore. I kind of went through a small depression fit and stopped putting time into things around the house that I normally would and elected instead to sit on the couch and read. This turned into us talking and falling in love. I didn’t expect it as I despised her existence in my once peaceful abode but as I learn more about her I see the parallels between our lives. I know she’s off limits but that can’t change how I feel about her.
She ended up telling my buddy about her crush on me and, thankfully, let me tell him about my side in my own time. I pulled him aside to speak about it and he seemed despondent. I asked if I should leave and he told me “never” yet told just about everyone we know the next day. I’m sure they all think I’m the lowest scum but, once again, this changes nothing in regards to my feelings about her.
She loves the both of us, she says. She wants to go poly in the relationship which I’d be down for; my buddy and I have known each other for 15 years and shared just about everything with each other. I don’t see the harm in sharing someone who cherishes our existence but he seems hesitant. He hasn’t asked me to stop talking to her or spending time alone with her but I’d respect his wishes if that were the case. I just wish he wasn’t reticent about the whole deal and would just tell me what he wants me to do.

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