I have been in my same sex relationship for almost 2 years now. We have an age gap by 14 years, which is pertinent to know, She is 42 and I’m 28. Our personalities are very different, which is ok, but.
I am very artistic spontaneous and sometimes or rather most of the time childish in nature.
She is very calculated, predictable and very mature.
These 2 differences actually balance us out quite often
However, I can only tell my side of course.
The problems we have are age based as I get told very often “it comes with age”. However I feel as though I should be able to ask some questions because shes older, but when I do I feel very belittled. Shes even has said she forgets “maybe when I was your age I didnt know-this.
Along with age I feel guilty she will be alone with not having anyone to give her children and a full life as time is running out. Shes expressed this to add to my conspiracy theories.
Along with that, my drinking is also a problem in our relationship. When we first met I admit I had a problem. I drank heavily and wouldn’t stop even past buzzed. Since then I’ve slowed down quite a bit to only maybe every other day or just because I’ll be off the next day and it’s a 6 pack of 5% or less and only in the new diet approved drink choices. I do not go to liquor stores for anything. But I’m told still I’m “an alcoholic and she cant expect me to just Stop!”
Note she drinks as well but only maybe 1 or 2 times a month to my 8.
Work is also a concern. Shes a convicted felon and cant work like I can. But I understand this and have always been an over achiever and bread winner even without an education in any of my relationships. The but is, shes not willing to move or change jobs as this “is as good as it gets with a disability”-shes also handicapped and cant work on her feet for long periods of time.
Then theres house work. I work 12 hour shifts 4 days of the week and they are scattered due to it being in the medical field. I spend 100% of the time of my feet with people talking to me constantly. As she works a 9-5 in a cubicle.
She cleans as she has stated due to OCD and is happy to as even though I work my hours I shop and cook for every meal# balance.
But..she in annoyed and berates me for leaving my purse or shoes in the wrong spot when I get home. Or leaving my brush or hair on the counter before I leave work. As I should be sympathetic to her mental issues as she was for me when we met. Our home in others words is emaculant by the way.
She reminds me often of how I was a slob and I mustn’t have been raised to clean properly.
Then finally the sex death bed.
I came out when I was 25 even though I had feelings for the same sex since middle school. Our love life is very one sided as I am unable to express myself as I’d like.
I’ve brought this up numerous times throughout our dating and was given hope that one day maybe I could.
However this is not the case as recently I’ve even been made to feel guilty for the pressure. I dont bring it up that much, only maybe after a dream or have just thought about it.
But still I’m becoming less interested in relations due to it being so one sided.
I want to give a relationship my all and not give up over something silly, but am I holding on too tight.