Am I a bad person?
This is my first time using this so forgive me if I use it wrong.
About myself. I’m a 28 y/o male who has had confidence issues since I could remember. Though not anyone can put me in a state of depression, those who I’m extremely close with can. I’m currently with someone whom I love so much and am planning on proposing to in a few months. She has a four year old daughter whom is such a lovely child. She tends to be mean, greedy, and treats everything like a game but she’s four, she’s learning and I love her a lot.
One night though I was going through a lot and my step daughter was acting very bad I’m every way. She eventually kept trying to boss me around telling me to do things her mother told her to do first. I simply said “shut up” but not in a mean angry way. Mind you her mother’s sister tells her to shut up all the time and the other day her grandma did the same. Regardless, I got yelled at badly and because I didn’t accept her apology right away she (the mother) tore into me even more and claims I don’t even love her daughter.
Im with her daughter more often than she is. After I bring her to daycare, I go to work, go pick her up and then we play together. I make sure she eats, I give her her baths, and I put her to bed but not before reading a bed time story. I enjoy being around her. But the points her mother brings up is that I don’t love her cause I don’t hold her hand when we’re crossing the street, or that I pick on her, and now the whole shut up thing is the icing on the cake. Though I apologized about the shut up incident the other two didn’t make sense to me. I only never hold her hand on streets that I know no cars are coming through. She doesn’t cross the street without me anyhow. During busy streets I don’t even let her out of my sight, were holding hands.
When it comes to picking on her we just have that kinda relationship. She picks on me all the time and play fights with me. We don’t mean any harm.
But I felt forced to apologize cause of this but truly I’m hurting inside cause now I live like I have to double guess everything I do.
Ive unfortunately picked up bad habits to ease my anxiety but I feel I’m just not handling this right. I want to talk to her but every time we do she goes on the attack and makes me feel worse. I really don’t know what to do outside of just being there and just doing what’s asked of me.